Action For The Blind Hotels

1. Dear Uncle, I think my sister is having an affair with my fiancé. I was tidying his study when I found her undergarments behind his ghetto blaster. I am supposed to marry him in three weeks. What should I do?

From, Worried Bride-to-be

Dear Worried Bride-to-be, fear not. Simply take the ghetto blaster to your local appliance store and trade it in as a deposit for a 20-watt stand-alone bass woofer matched with a four-unit mid-range/treble speaker system. Your fiancé and your sister will be delighted with the slight improvement in sound quality.


2. Dear Uncle, my son is obsessed with Manchester United. He missed his father’s funeral to watch the final on TV. When we came home from the cemetery he was dancing with joy over a goal. It was most inappropriate and the mourners were deeply shocked.

From, Despairing Widow

Dear Despairing Widow, you have a serious problem here. No person in his right mind would celebrate a goal that was so obviously off-side. The ref must have been TOTALLY blind. Ask your son to check the action replays and he will see the final was STOLEN from AC Milan.


3. Dear Uncle, 20 minutes after my son Jason went to school, a message popped up for him on the family computer. His teacher wants to meet him after school at a hotel. She signed it “smoochykins.” He is 17, and she is 30. What should I do?

From, Concerned Mother

Dear Concerned Mother, I understand your concern. Instant message programs should automatically log out after five minutes of inactivity. Upgrade to version 7.0 to prevent this problem recurring.


4. Dear Uncle, my mother-in-law constantly complains scornfully about every item of food and drink I ever serve. Everything is too hot or too cold. My husband always sides with her. His disloyalty is driving me to drink.

From, Wit’s End

Dear Wit’s End, since you have been driven to drink, you will quickly notice that pale beers and lagers taste best at seven degrees Celsius, while amber beers should be served at 12 degrees and dark stout at 15 degrees. Ensure a copious supply of beers at correct temperatures to watch all complaints vanish.


5. Dear Uncle, my husband bought a home security video system last year. I came home early yesterday and noticed it showed two people kissing in the back garden. Although the picture was fuzzy and grainy, I realized it was my husband and my neighbor. We have been married 18 years. What should I do?

From, Broken-Hearted Wife

Dear Broken-Hearted Wife, this problem is easily fixed. Use a high impedance cable, set the resolution to “High Definition” and get an accelerated graphics card. Fuzzy and grainy images will be a thing of the past, and you will get crystal clear images from your back garden.


6. Dear Uncle, my husband spent the money we had saved for our children’s education on a Rolex watch. He says it is vital for his image. But surely he has done wrong?

From, Penniless Housewife

Dear Penniless Housewife, yes your husband has done wrong. Look him in the eye and say: “Rolex is so yesterday. James bond wears an Omega. Why did you not consider buying an Omega?” (This answer is sponsored by Omega Watches.)
star if u like it
i copied it from some site...

HAHAHA i like the manchester united one :X

maybe cuz im a fan....

their all funny tho :D

2009-06-25 01:31:25 by The Mad Hatter

Video Web Presenter are a website video production company who use streaming flash video and website video actors as a video Spokespersons or ...

and 100% Nalayak says aussies are well behaved !!!

“Eggs were thrown at Muralidharan and those struck him,” a top Sri Lankan Cricket (SLC) official said in Colombo adding that the authorities were looking into the incident.

The incident, which marks a new low in Aussie fans’ turbulent relations with Muralidharan, has prompted cricket authorities in Sri Lanka to ask for heightened security for the players.

“We have drawn the attention of Cricket Australia to this incident. They have already given the team security. But we have asked the authorities whether this can be beefed up further,” SLC secretary K. Mathivanan said.

A newspaper reported that the Sri Lankan cricketers were jeered and attacked by some local residents in Hobart when they were returning to their hotel after dinner.

“The Sri Lankan team management then safely guided the players back to their hotel and the police arrived at the scene,” the newspaper said.

Muralidharan, who holds the world record with 723 Test wickets, has had a history of hostility with the Australian spectators, who have jeered him on previous tours, forcing him to stop going Down Under for some time.

The off-spinner was no-balled by Aussie umpires and the bowler had to undergo laboratory tests to prove the legality of his bowling action.

Former SLC chief Thilanga Sumathipala lambasted the ICC and said with an Australian (Malcolm Speed) as its chief executive, the governing body had turned a blind eye even though Asian players continue to be harassed Down Under.

“We have to see the bigger picture. For some reasons, you always have an Australian as the CEO there. Every time an Asian player is treated like this, there is no step from the ICC. We need to get rid of that and only then we can move forward,” said a furious Sumathipala.

He, however, hoped that the incident would leave the Sri Lankan team a close-knit unit.

“As of now, Arjuna (Ranatunga) is heading the board and it should be dealt at the board-to-board level. I just hope the players stand together, get stronger and be united. And I think they would do well after this incident,” he said.

This is a fresh jolt for Australia’s already tattered image, with its team coming under attack for their unsporting behaviour and a racism row that marred their just-concluded Test series against India.

Muralidharan’s stormy relationship with Australian cricket stems back to Sri Lanka’s 1995-96 Tour of Down Under. (Agencies)

lmao @ the first answer,this is just proves it, aussies pretty much hate everyone(particularly people from sub-continent).read this nalayak,you go out of your way to praise australians and look how this aussie has insulted you and made fun of your country and countrymen.

this is just goes to show that if you ain't white you will get insulted by an aussie.

2009-05-30 23:43:37 by Dilshan

1. 1st world war, 2nd world war, war in Iraq and Afghanistan killed many lives. They are people follow the teaching of god and do a lot of prayers.

2. Many young little girl, lady and women were raped. Some of them were raped by their own father, relatives, friends and teachers. Some little girl were forced married to very old (evil/animal) man.

3.I saw many students of secondary and primary unable to speak English during the time of Prime Minister Tun Mahathir. At the time some subject in English was changed to Bahasa Malaysia.

Many primary children understand better and started to speak some English late few years during Pak lah.

Recently certain subject should be conducted in English else the Malaysian will become stupid said by Tun Mahatir. Why action is not taken during his time?

4. Arabian have other religion before islam. When the people become islam the government caught them, deter them to meet the Muslim. They were punished to make them not becoming islam.

Today the ruling in some country when the muslim are majority. If a Muslim married a muslim, all of them and children must become muslim else the muslim are caught and put into a house of islam. He or she will be question and deter to meet his or her own family.

5. No discrimination and there is a phase God love all.

I read from newspaper in Malaysia, the unity of Malaysia must be achieve at some diffrences in constitution.

Some races have to accept that they have no equal right. They have to see others with special rights to take and they must willingly accept to loose the chance.

Unity in islam can be intepret in this way?

6. Mydin the ownner is Islam he opened supermarket or hypermarket in Malaysia. They provide jobs for Malaysian hire malay, indian and chinese. This is the right way of fighting to contribute effort to Malaysia. This is the right way to uplift your race and religion.

The minister or politician like to speak protecting and fighting for race or religion. Those have cheated Government or the nation money, please stop singging or telling lies for the Malaysian are not blind or supid.

When you and your children have so much property and can travel by airplan here and there in many other countries. My friend told me about some one when the father was a Minister, she or he able to rent the whole hotel.

Please build factory, company or anything or provide jobs or scholarship for students to show your contribution, fight and protect the Malaysian. Please stop all your lies, the act is call dirty and cause the downfall of your race and religion.
7. I am getting confused with islam. They show movie of the earliest muslims were caught or punished to deter them from becoming muslim.

Today in Malaysia, I have seen in youtube one Indian muslim's daughter married to Indian Hindu.

In youtube they show there is act to stop her becoming non- muslim.

She was punished by being caught and seperated or deter from meeting the Hindu husband.

God or Allah is NOT a man with a beard in the sky, but Divine Loving Creative Consciousness, of which each and every one of us is a tiny aspect, for our *aliveness*, consciousness and conscience are parts of that which we call God!

God is not separate from Creation but an intrinsic part of it, which is why God is sometimes known as All That Is..

So each of us, given the gift of freewill and choice, chooses moment by moment, action by action, whether we act from the voice of Love within or from the selfish human ego!

Thus responsibility for ALL that happens in the world is down to each and every one of us individually and collectively, for many are good at judging others but fail to see the fault in their own actions and attitudes..

Love and forgiveness, NOT religions which keep people separated and fearful, are the only way forward!

2009-06-21 02:01:49 by suv

In the last four years an Oscar nomination for best picture is likely to be a small serious art-house drama , probably with an R rating (4 out 5 nominations for the last four years were rated R). Some of these films are deeply personal.
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But the industry is driven by fantasy, children's movies, romance, horror, comedy, action and sometimes (adult comedy). The mainstay was a PG-13 movie. Out of 516 movies released this year there were 59 movies released in more than 3000 theaters sometimes called wide - release movies.
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It is difficult to impossible for one of these movies to get nominated anymore, let alone win. It was't that many years ago that #1 box office movies like Lord of the Rings were not only getting nominated but winning.
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They are increasing the number of nominations from 5 to 10 this year so that hopefully some wide - release films get nominated, but it does not increase the likeihood that Disney Pixar's "UP" is going to beat some small violent art house film.
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Should we have a new Oscar category called "best wide release picture"? Or are we just wasting our time?
Here are the wide releases in order of critical success. Obviously there are some very popular films like Transformer II are near the bottom of the list. Some movies like Zombieland were critical success but were not commercial successes.

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Up
Star Trek
District 9 (R)
Zombieland (R)
Inglourious Basterds (R)
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Avatar
The Princess and the Frog
Michael Jackson's This Is It
The Hangover (R)
Where the Wild Things Are
Monsters Vs. Aliens
The Blind Side
Sherlock Holmes
Funny People (R)
Public Enemies (R)
Watchmen (R)
17 Again
Taken
A Christmas Carol (2009)
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (R)
Astro Boy
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Hotel for Dogs
Saw VI (R)
Shorts
Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
He's Just Not That Into You
Hannah Montana The Movie
The Proposal
Race to Witch Mountain
2012
Imagine That
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Angels & Demons
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Knowing
Terminator Salvation
Aliens in the Attic
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Fast and Furious
The Final Destination (R)
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Fame (2009)
Friday the 13th (2009)
Land of the Lost
G-Force
Planet 51
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
Halloween II (2009) (R)
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Year One
The Pink Panther 2
Couples Retreat
Bride Wars
Old Dogs
Last year Frost/Nixon was seen by 1.2 million people before nomination, 1.2 million between nomination and award show, and 0.2 million after the award show. Although I liked the acting, it presented a highly distorted view of history. And 4 million people will watch a repeat of Leno Show.
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I think the Oscar's need a second award if films like this keep getting nominated for best picture.

The reason the art films are winning is because everyone was crying after LOTR and Braveheart and Gladiator and other blockbusters kept winning. This is a reaction to that. And it's stupid.

2010-01-02 04:49:18 by Paco

I had a blind date last night with a guy I'd been talking to on the phone for a few weeks. We have a lot in common and really hit it off. We went for pizza and then for drinks. Everything seemed to be going smoothly...

But unfortunately I hadn't drank in a While, and had a few too many (to say the least). I was nervous and kept drinking to relax. I really wasn't feeling the effects until it was too late... the date was almost perfect when he first took me home. But the goodnight kiss(es) were AMAZING and he asked if I wanted to go somewhere. I was NOT planning on this, but what can I say... it had been a while since I'd had sex, and I liked this guy and wanted him. We got a hotel room.

I only remember bits and pieces of what happened in the room. I know we had sex. I didn't know I had been puking all over the bed until I woke up hours later on the clean side of the bed with all the covers pushed over and him sleeping in the chair. I had him take me home and apologized that I was a bad date and sorry for drinking too much and making such a mess of the otherwise great night. He told me not to worry about it and we shared a quick kiss when he dropped me off.

I am recently divorced and this was one of my first dates in YEARS. Before going to the hotel was even thought about we had talked about going out again. I really like him and want to see him again... but I'm afraid I blew it with my drunken ways and vomiting!!!

Did I blow it? Should I just wait and see if he calls me, or should I call first and tell him I'm really embarrassed by my actions? This is the first time I've ever done anything like this (sex, overindulging, throwing up all on first date!). I just need a little advice, please!

It depends on what the guy wants.

By either one of your actions, I wouldn't expect either of you to want a long term relationship with the other. I mean, what kind of guy has sex with a girl on the first day, who was also so drunk that she can't even remember what happened?

And btw, you shouldn't feel any worse about this than he should. You were easy but so was he. There's no difference there.

2009-06-21 17:50:50 by sweethotmama