Aa Big Book Audio

I added so much info i figured i'd restart the question, lol.

My fiance is an alcoholic. I have a very hard time trusting him when i think he's been drinking. (aka anytime he's out with his friends) I want to trust the man i love but when it comes to this i just can't. We have no other problems really besides alcohol, and it's a pretty big one.

Has anyone had success with showing a alcoholic exactly how drunk they are when they come home? I want him to realize even when he thinks he's barely drank at all he's showing the signs and should not be driving.

I have a feeling he'd be bringing it over his buddies house and trying to see who has the highest score. I swear it seems like everyone in this town is a drunk. I wish he could find people his own age. (He's 28, they are 20-25) I hate every one of his friends & think they're immature children.

He knows he has a problem. It was worse a year ago, he'd be drunk 7 days a week.

He doesn't like being in the house all of the time, & i can understand that. It just seems like every time he's out for 7 hours he's going to come home drunk. I just can't stand his friends and believe they don't care if he has a problem or not. He doesn't keep track of how much he drinks & it seems like he doesn't care because in his mind he's fine.

I bought him some books about quitting & he says he'll read them. AA seems to be too religious. He's been downloading a lot of self help audio books but i'm not sure what they are about. I hope they are to help him with his drinking.

He doesn't care when he's drunk but when he's sober he says he understands why i freak out. I'm afraid for his health & i'm afraid we won't have a future together. I tell him this all the time. He seems to think he's superman & he won't get into an accident or be arrested because he's been "safe" for so long.

I have my own problems too, i yell at him & beg him to come home for hours.I have severe depression and panic disorder. His drinking doesn't make my panic any easier. I cry at the drop of a hat. He says he comes home because i'm upset. He swears he will always come home to me, to sleep beside me. I know one day he won't be coming home and it kills me.

He actually believes i'm killing myself faster than he is because i'm constantly on edge and can't really leave the house. And no i don't expect him to stay home with me. I just want to be able to go somewhere with him where he won't be drinking and driving us home. (I don't drive, it's actually common around here for some weird reason.) I don't want to watch him with his friends. I feel like i need to babysit him.

I try not to blame him for my problems but i worry so much about him, all the time. (I know i need meds and therapy, i don't have the money for that right now.) I feel like i can't even think about myself because i am so afraid for him. I want us to fix these problems together.

And i don't plan on marrying him until he's stopped or at least figured out how to have a limited amount without going overboard.

I want to trust him again. I trust him with my life but i cant trust him to leave the house because he'll lie about being at a bar or about when he'll be home or if he's even drinking at all. I used to believe he lied to protect me from my own chaotic thoughts but now i think he's just lying because he can. He is my life and i don't know if i could ever be whole without him. I think about leaving sometimes but i instantly burst into tears. I don't want to leave him. I want to help him. I want us to help eachother.

This is a very difficult matter to resolve. I wish there was a simple fortune cookie answer to your dilemma, but the truth is that it is difficult to get help with addiction. Your fiancee seems to have a good heart. He just can't quit the hooch. So this is what I suggest.

Evidence: No need for a breathalyzer. He pretty much knows he's an alcoholic. You can stack up evidence if you want, but I feel that this will just be supplementary to everything else you need to illustrate.

Program: A lot of people don't like AA etc. I'm one of them. He will just need a different program. There are tons of out patient programs, counselors, or other programs that can suit your man's needs. AA is usually a last ditch effort to fight alcoholism and the stats show this fact vividly (35% success after one year 1 meeting\week).

You: You're falling apart because of this dilemma. Maybe you need to start thinking about what options are available to you whether or not he gets help...

The Ultimatum: You are gonna have to put your foot down hard and soon! If you keep on this path... It'll be years before you end up leaving him because you're miserable. So you have to prepare to tell him that you will leave him forever if he doesn't get professional help. You MUST follow through! Idle threats are worthless here. You can go together to counseling or whatever, but you have to make him choose you are the alcohol. Even this won't be a guarenteed way to get him to go religiously to professional therapy.

Life After Treatment: Everyday will be a struggle, but you must work together to fight off relapse. Its worth it though...

2009-04-11 23:28:07 by ѕᴀᴛᴀɴɪс ʟɪʟʏ

astore.amazon.com It's more than a book. It's a way of life. Alcoholics Anonymous-the Big Book-has served as a lifeline to millions ...